Hello, everyone. It’s Baby Lloyd again. So, apparently Jan. 22 is Answer Your Cat’s Question Day. All I can say is, THANK YOU! Finally someone noticed that there’s a lot we cats don’t get about you humans. I polled some of my fellow felines in honor of this very important holiday, and here are the questions we’d like you all to answer for us:
Why do you insist that I have food in my dish when it is CLEARLY empty? Don’t give me this “half full” nonsense. Do I look like an optimist to you?
On a related note, where are you hiding the cat treats?
Where did that shiny red dot disappear to?
Why are you sleeping right now? Don’t you know nighttime is when all the exciting stuff happens? Why else would we choose this time to run frantically up and down the hallway?
You don’t mind me following you into the bathroom, do you?
Can I go outside? OK, now can I come inside? Wait, I want to go outside again…will you let me out? Aw man, it’s cold out here…will you let me back in?
Why did you scream when I brought you that mouse? Don’t you realize it’s a gift?
Ooh, is that a computer? I love computers! Can I send an email to your boss? Don’t worry that it just says “qrupieoajv;kdjfa;kja,.jfda.” That’s cat speak for “I need more vacation days.”
Hey, did you know the ancient Egyptians used to worship cats as gods? Whose idea was it to end that lovely tradition?
Can I have some more catnip? I promise to behave this time.
Who invited the dog?
Are you going to eat that?